My first 40 years

40 trips around the sun and what an adventure it has been!
I have loved and been loved.
I have seen the beauty of all that God has made and been brought to tears by all that he has done for me.
I have experienced the unspeakable love that is only known by another mother and I have experienced the unspeakable sorrow that is only known by someone else that has lost a sibling.
I have laughed more than I have cried.
I have found my soul mate even though I always thought that was a “dreamer’s” fantasy.
I have traveled to some pretty amazing places and met some incredibly interesting people.
I have traveled to some kinda skeezy places that at least gave me a good story to tell later.
I have had incredible health even though I started my life with a horrible birth defect.
I have never needed for anything, even though I have wanted more than I should.
I have been horribly mistreated by some that I trusted but have not let it make me cynical.
I have been treated better than I could ask for by more people than I could have ever hoped for.
I have met many people that have inspired me and made me want to be a better person.
I have made some bad decisions but I always learned a lesson from them.
I have not wanted for excitement; I survived Mardi Gras, kayaked the Gulf of Mexico, crossed the Golden Gate Bridge, surfed the waters of Hawaii, did God’s work in a foreign country, went scuba diving in the waters of The Cayman Islands, swam with stingrays in Belize, walked the Magnificent Mile in Chicago, experienced Saturday Night in Death Valley, cruised the Caribbean, made my way to Canada for some unknown reason, listened to live music on 7th Street in Austin, snuck my dad’s car out and drove the streets of South Padre Island before I had a license, traveled to every corner of the country for my job and made many arrests while there, shopped on Rodeo Drive, had my stomach come out through my throat on the Superman ride, parasailed off the shores of Mexico and made friends with the geckos in The Virgin Islands.
I have known the fear of being kidnapped at gunpoint, looking a snake in the eyes, having to pull the cord on the skycoaster, almost losing my mother, and shit going really bad while working as a cop on the streets of Memphis; for all of these things I am thankful because they have made me stronger and proven to me that I am a survivor.
If asked how my first 40 years have been, I would say “fantastic”. I do not think that because I have lived an easy and privileged life. I have had some very low points in these years too. I have been depressed, lonely, desperate and felt unloved; but I have learned that my happiness is in my hands and when the bad times strike, I choose to see the bright side, I choose to look at all the blessings I have, I choose to keep it in the front of my mind that there are many people that would do anything to have the freedoms and opportunities that I have, I choose happiness.
For my next 40 years, I hope my joy continues to outweigh my sorrow, that my good times trump my bad and that I am able to help someone else enjoy life as much as I do!